Before You Buy a Home for Your Child: Remember to Read This

Compared with parents in other countries, Sri Lankan parents have a weakness that they are proud of. Proud, because they never see it as a weakness, but as a rare attribute of great parenting.

Children see it as a nuisance and sensible people find it awfully funny. But parents in Sri Lanka insist on it; to be parents of their children forever, to look after them even after their marriage and to look after the children of their children also – because they believe that their children are incapable of doing anything even after they become adults and have their own children.

The situation can occur in any other country, but in Sri Lanka it is ubiquitous. In school, at office, on the way, “forever parenting” is a common phenomenon. It is one thing to be on the lookout for your kid when he is late after school and it is quite another to be unusually terrified when he forgets to call home in the morning, especially when he happens to be a well grown adult and driving his own kids to school. Consequences of this extreme – and ‘eternal’ – devotion can prove to be drastic and may create considerable friction among family members, or between families.

If you are a parent who cannot bear being separated from your child – every parent is like that, but here we are talking about far beyond the norm – then first of all you have to realize the obvious truth; you have to say good bye to him/her one way or another, and you should. Think about yourself. What about your parents? There came a time that they could not look after you anymore, right? Same with your children. You have to let go.

And when you let go, you should be intelligent enough to ensure your survival at the same time. We are using the word ‘survival’ here because there are incidents where parents were stripped from their belongings altogether when their child started his/her new life.
Mind, your financial position should not be jeopardized in whatsoever when your child leaves you. You may argue that we are trying to tempt you to be egoistic, but what say if your child starts behaving in a way that you did not predict? What if he/she starts to act on the words of his/her spoilt spouse?

Buying a house for your child is a critical financial move from your part as a parent that you should be cautious. Doubly cautious. You would purchase the house for your child one way or another. You provide down payment. He would pay the monthly leasing installments. You obtain a loan in your name and also pay the monthly installments. Or no loan, you buy it with your own money. Or your savings and his/her savings would both go in to the purchase. The way you are going to buy it not the issue here. The issue is the future; the repercussions that would ensue after the purchase.

Do not be emotion-blind. If you are buying him a house on borrowings, clearly identify the means you both have for paying the installments. Always be wary of the possibility that one of you can fail in meeting the obligations mentioned in the said financial facility. If you are going to buy for him with your own money consider the possible reactions of other family members also. Discuss the decision with everyone. Secret agreements in a family can be disastrous once they are out in the open.

See your child as an individual. He/she can think and act accordingly. Your own flesh and blood, yes, but still a separate human being like you. Communicate with your child in a clear and effective way and explain him the options available and also the potential outcomes when those options are put in to action. He would understand. After all he is your kid.

This blog is a token from us to you that we love your child just as you do.